The Current Situation

As I caress my soft ebony skin I bite into the ripest strawberry without daylight. The flame from the candle burning in this room creates figures on the walls. I gaze and fall into the deepest parts of my mind. I have been having conversations with myself again thinking about what my next come up will be. It's best if it's in God's time. I need to make more money. Yet I don't want to do labor that isn't representing who I truly am. I'm feeling as if time is running out. They say "You're young you have time." However in the back of my mind I think to myself "Time waits for no man." My notepad and pen aren't making love like they should. The ideas and thoughts aren't flourishing. I need this I need that before I can do this and do that. I won't be able to do this or do that if I don't have what I need. This constant back and forth without money and just me alone I feel stuck. It certainly seems like no one gives a fuck. Being that everyone is working on their own come up. Draft after draft I'm not satisfied. When will I publish quality work. I want people to see who and what I am truly about. It's more than just the clothes on my back. Facts. I want to elevate and connect with women. This education system is lacking the tools necessary to help all students. Many of us go to school to please our  parents. Most of us work hard to obtain a degree to live out dreams that were once fantasies. Yet some like myself get set back. Perhaps a year or two. Not having a clue about what to do next. Feeling sort of like a hex. I'm stressed and vex all at the same time. I'm trying to be back in school by Fall. Hopefully I'm making the right call. But working at the mall is causing me to stall being that the current situation is so perpelexed. The current situation of a young African Stylista In Mind Struggling Just Trying To Find Something That's Worth More Than A Dime.